What does it mean to have an affective deficiency? How can we deal with the lack of emotional affection? Discover some signs that indicate this problem and how to deal with it.
Feeling loved by the people around us makes us more motivated, as well as being more connected with those around us. Even so, there are people who, due to the way in which they were treated in childhood, may suffer from affective deficiencies, which makes them separate from others so as not to suffer this pain again. So how do you know if someone has a lack of caring in their life?
What is an affective deficiency?
Affective deficiency is a problem that affects the way in which people relate both to themselves and to others. This lack of affection is due to the fact that during the first years of life these people have not had the necessary support and love from their parents, creating the feeling of a lack of personal value. When feeling this affective lack, people may experience problems in their adult life, since they have not had a healthy model from which to take an example.
Signs that you suffer from affective deficiencies
People who are emotionally deprived may show the following attitudes:
They are ‘cold’ with others: For a person who has felt the lack of affection during their childhood, love can mean very different things. For example, these people may not give hugs or kisses to their loved ones, even though they feel love for them. It is for this reason that they can be labeled as ‘cold’ or distant with others.
Mistrust: Growing up feeling unloved or unappreciated, these people may end up mistrusting others. This may be because they worry so often that people will hurt them emotionally.
Empathy: Because they know what a lack of affection feels like, these people are often very kind and empathetic to others.
Problems with their romantic relationships: It is very likely that people with emotional deficiencies in childhood have problems in their romantic relationships during adulthood. In fact, despite the fact that their partners treat them badly, these people may have the mistaken belief that they do not ‘deserve’ better.
They question the love towards them: These people tend to distrust the signs of love that other people show them. This is due to all the fears and insecurities that arise from the lack of affection received during childhood.
High sensitivity: A person who has felt abandoned during childhood is usually very sensitive to what is happening around them. The emotional lack they felt in childhood can end up making these people always attentive to what is happening.
Perfectionism: Those who have grown up fighting for their family’s attention may end up setting very high standards for themselves. This can imply that they end up being very perfectionists, which makes them self-demanding and self-critical.
Lack of love towards themselves: When suffering from affective deficiencies, many people can end up feeling that they are not valid. In fact, a lack of affection during childhood often leads to self-esteem problems during adolescence and adulthood.
These are some of the signs that could indicate that a person has emotional deficiencies and needs to work inside. If you feel identified with it, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist before it leads to a mental health problem.
How can an affective lack affect?
People who felt a lack of affection during their childhood may end up developing psychological problems due to these feelings. Some of the difficulties that can present are the following:
Low self-esteem: The lack of attention they received from their parents can lead to experiencing a belief of ‘little value’, that is, of not feeling enough towards themselves or towards others. Therefore, it is normal that they end up suffering from low self-esteem.
Depression: Affective deficiencies can also lead to a depressive disorder. The main reason is that these people can distrust others in such a way that it leads to social isolation. Constantly isolating yourself from people, added to the lack of personal worth, can become a depressive problem.
Social anxiety: Little trust in others can lead to experiencing social anxiety, that is, having a phobia of judgment or criticism that others can make of them.
Problems in relationships: An emotional lack can end up consuming friendship or partner relationships. The reason may be a lack of confidence or simply the inability to show affection towards loved ones.
How to deal with affective deficiencies?
If you feel that during childhood you received a lack of affection and that this is affecting you in your adult life, we recommend that you take into account the following tips:
Prioritize yourself: People with affective deficiencies should focus on their mental and physical health. That is, in taking care of yourself in every way. It is vital that you try to eat balanced, exercise regularly and above all focus on your values and priorities.
Connect with others: Try not to isolate yourself despite the fact that you feel a certain distrust at first with some people. Isolation will only lead you to experience more emptiness and lack of affection.
Learn to communicate: If you feel that others feel cold to you because you may not like to hug or show affection, try learning to show your affection in different ways. For example, doing it through words can help you connect more with your loved ones.
Go to therapy: Emotional deficiencies can affect beyond relationships. For this reason, it is crucial to work on them and try to learn to love yourself.
The lack of affection during the first years of life can mark our personality and make us appear more distant during adulthood. These feelings of lack can end up distorting the way we see ourselves and others, for this reason it is important to face them and work on them.
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